When that someone praised you looking beautiful on that special particular event, all you can do is smile and say thanks.

That had happened to me once.

That someone is my crush.

But not anymore.

Because I know his heart belongs to other girl.

The other girl who is flawless, has more captivating smile than me.

More attractive than me.

Well.

For me,

He is now just a friend.

But I still love being with him.

Taking silly pictures with him.

Talk ridiculous things with him.

Just having him with me even make me happy.

I will be happy whenever I am in the same team as him.

The same place where we can do activities together.

I just love everything about him.

There was once when we walked together from preparation class.

Then, a friend walked in opposite way said

'Aaa.. do you guys have something, that something?"

Then he said, casually,

"We are couple,arent we Iqa?"

That time,

I was shocked to hear that.

but I know he is just joking.

So,I simply happily replied to the friend,

"Yeah. We are :)."

He also once mentioned that we were in a scandal before.

He always know how to make me flutter.

Though he didnt notice at all.

Thanks to my skin as it doesnt get red at all when I'm blushed.

I should've be called 'Unblushable Iqa'.

Then,

It was that day.

When he uttered this sentence.

"Iqa, kau nampak comel hari ni."

It was quite unbelievable since 

He never said something nice about my appearance.

I'm the only who compliment myself.

Surely,it was just for 'koya' thing that I shared with him.

I admit that my heart skipped a beat that moment.

But though,

I never think that as a sign of him replying my past feelings for him.

Because

On that day,

Surely I wore something different as it is a special event.

That means,

He praised me looking comel when he saw me in that state.

He praised the outer me.

He loved to look at the outside.

Then I thought,

He is not the one I need.

I need someone that love me,

The inside me.

That's the most important.

Because the outside can change.

But the inside hardly can change.

 I hope one day

I will find The One.

The One who can accept me in whatever state.

Who will accept the me that talk a lot, have weird habits.

Who will love me even if I grew the third eye.

Who will always be there to listen to me, to protect me.

Who will not mind if I drooled a pail when I sleep.

But.

The someone.

We made a promise that we will be friends forever.

Until the day that separates our soul from our bodies.

Dear you,

If you're reading this,

Thanks for that compliment.

It really cheered my day.

Thanks for being the you whenever beside me and

Thanks for making me comfortable being the real me beside you.

You taught me a lot.

If one day,

I leave this world first,

Dont forget me.

Dont ever forget our memories.

Our silliness together.

I would never forget the feeling I had for you.

The feeling being your friend.

The feeling that you always give me.

The gaze I gave you.

Words that seemed planted into my deepest part of brain.

How the just a few words escaped from your mouth made me smile.

How you made me jealous.

How you love to 'koya' how handsome you are.

Everything I had when I was with you.

Once again,

Thank you.

I love you friend.

Hai.

My life's getting tougher.

With so many things landing onto my head, my inner me.

Sekarang.

Aku dah pegang kawasan asrama.

Like a boss la kan.

Tapi.

Ya Allah..

Tuhan je la tahu.

Betapa susahnya nak handle budak-budak pramatang ni.

Dengan perangai sorang-sorang tu..

Ada yang baik tu, baik la.

Kalau yang degil tu, rendam dalam asid pon belum tentu cair.

Aku tak tau la apa nak jadi dengan dieorang tu.

Dah la tahun ni nak exam,

Tak sedar diri lagi.

Aku dah berlembut dengan dieorang.

Tapi

Nak kepala.

Aku garang kan,

Kata aku singa la bagai.

Kalau aku jadik malaikat,

Korang bukan nak dengar pon.

Kalau aku jadik singa,

Korang buat muka,

Kata macam-macam belakang aku.

Cakap aku ni nyekik la.

Tolong la Adik-adik.

Apa yang susah sangat nak ikut peraturan?

Orang lain boleh je.

Kenapa tak korang?

Nak kata ***** kan,

Semua same je kelayakan masuk.

Kalau aku bangkit pasal mak bapak kan,

Korang melenting,

Jadi,

TOLONG LA.

AKU MERAYU dengan korang.

BEHAVE la.

Jaga la siket name korang tu,

Name batch, 

Yang penting

Name MAK BAPAK korang tu.

Aku marah, aku tegur

Bukan sebab aku benci korang.

Aku marah bersebab.

Aku marah pada orang yang bersalah.

Aku pun tak nak marah korang sebenarnya.

Tapi.

Korang tu.

Aku harap one of you guys ada yang terasa bila bace statement ni.

Sekiranya bukan aku yang pegang jawatan ni tahun depan,

Tolong la.

Demi dia.

Sebab dia mesti lebih baik daripada aku.

Sebab hanya aku sorang je yang macam singa dalam batch aku.

Dan

Most Crucial 

For YOUR OWN SELVES.

Hai.

Lama dah tak berkarya.

Dah lebih kurang 4 bulan rasenya.

Pada mulanya,

Terfikir nak ignore terus je blog ni.

Tapi.

Sehinggalah baru-baru ni

Eifa cakap

"Await dah lama tak update hangpa punye belog?"

Aku terus terfikir.

Why not just continue writing?

As this is the one thing that I can do to express my feelings.

So.

This is it.

Afiqah.

Le me.

Sitting here.

Writing again.

Even I'm just the only one who read these things back.

Thanks to Eifa.

I got back my spirit to write.